Misses Cars - Loves Dogs - Never on Meds

Ms C came to us reluctantly but for reasons necessary for her health and welfare.  At first she was really shy and felt undeserving of a chauffeured ride.  She is always surprised that she can call on me to take her anywhere she wants and she always feels as if she is putting me out. 

 

On one occasion however as we drove to her appointment she noticed dogs playing on a school yard along Jubilee Road.  She immediately sighed and commented on how she missed her car but then after a thoughtful pause.... how she really missed her dog. 

 

It shows me how things like money or location are nothing compared to memories.

 
On another occasion, Ms C was so glad to be transported to one of many hairstylists I visit each week.  As we left the building she made a profound comment. “I would walk but it’s kind of cold, and you know I will probably walk back – good exercise – and at 83 I am not on any medication – it makes me feel great.”  

When you look at this lady you would never know she was in her eighties and when you see her smile you know she is a healthy lady in her autumn years.  She did walk back, by-the-way.  It was a 5 kilometer walk.

[I should mention here that when I am in a one-on-one situation in the van there is a level of comfort and trust and this gets greater with each trip as each resident reveals something more about him or herself.]

Clichés and Kindness

Mr R, one of my first driving companions back in 2013, was told he couldn’t drive anymore, not because he couldn’t drive physically, but because he was forgetting where places were and could possibly get lost.  So, I was asked to take him to an appointment. 

 

I mentioned how cold it was, to which he responded “yes, many are cold, but few are frozen” – a great play on that wonderful piece of scripture.  As we were driving out of the driveway, he commented in his usual quick witty way that his family felt he was getting 'feeble' but he felt he was more in a CRAFT state – that is he “Couldn’t remember a f’n thing”.  We both laughed.  Whenever he gets out of the van he always says that he “can get to the curb from here”.

Mr R does not use my service often now that his family is nearby but he never fails to ask me "if he could remember what he needed at the Superstore would I take him" to which I always say I could but he better think about it.  He never returns of course.

 

What is amazing about this gentleman is his kindness and superb manners for his advanced age (91).  He had many years in the medical field and when I asked about issues around my own son's health he was extremely helpful and obviously well versed in dealing with the issue.  Thanks Mr R.

 

As he would say, "as I said once to a girlfriend, 'it has been a business doing pleasure with you'".

[I have learned through the study of dementia that many intelligent people diagnosed with the symptoms cover it up very well with clichés or repeated jokes – a normal response to a forgetful disease.. there are many expressions repeated over and over by Mr R, but always enjoyed by this chauffeur] 

Watered Heart

Ms G – this lady was at the healthy age of 95 at the time of this note but was as keen as anyone I’ve known in their fifties.  She had an appointment with her doctor and she too related how important relationships with family are to her.  On this occasion though, her daughter was out of town and she required my service to get her to the doctor for the outcome of x-rays previously taken that week. 

 

When she returned she was ok but revealed to me that she had liquid around her heart and they were watching her. She said she could have walked such a short distance (feeling guilty that is was such a short trip).  Even this did not dampen her spirit as she bid me a happy day and figured she’d go have a stiff drink to celebrate another day.

One nasty winter day in Jan 2015 I took Ms G to Fenwick Street.  The street was blocked just before the entrance to her clinic backing traffic up, so I was forced to back up the full length of the street to go around and come in the other way. 

 

She never forgets that reverse trip and talks about her amazement at how I was able to do that.  Our trips have been very comfortable ever since :)

Something as simple as reversing a street is being watched, with interest, as residents watch the chauffeur get them to and from their appointments safely.

Her heart may have water around it but it is still pretty big.

Three Years Today! Jan 21 - 2016

Well today marks exactly 3 years employed by the seniors residence as the Singing Chauffeur.  The residence actually opened for residency on February 7th of 2013.

A cake was made for the staff including the twenty 'originals' remaining from about fifty hired to start the building systems and procedures back on this date in 2013.  We had two solid weeks of orientation back then.  The new hired staff now gets a day and a half.  We didn't have many residents back then but we learned their names fast as the place started to take more in.  Now there are over 170 people and with the exception of maybe the latest twenty newcomers, we know them all.  The newer staff watch in disbelief as we communicate with those we know as friends in a comfortable and respectful way on a first name basis.  The van used to move two or three times a day (and not far).  Now I switch from van to bus and back every half hour from 8-4 Monday to Friday with an average of 70 kilometres daily just on the peninsula of Halifax.

I would like to say "thank you"  for the experience I have gained in a seniors' environment while doing what I love - driving.  The extra alertness required helping seniors has taught me to be a very careful and an alert driver, not to mention patient.  Taking precious cargo like an 85-103 year old has a lot of responsibility attached to it.  I am watched very carefully as I drive the streets.  It is gratifying to receive comments on my patience, capability, and skill at driving.  Every corner has to be smooth, every street navigated gently, and every start and stop, without a jerk or squeal.  Road rage is not possible (I have almost bitten my tongue off and have clenched my fist many times to not lay on the horn).   After all the van is well marked and well-known in the city.  It would be hard to not be seen next time.

It is not just a 'hop in and let's go' kind of chauffeuring either.  There are steps to be taken to get a senior comfortable in the van or bus; there are the steps and sidewalks, the ramps and wheelchair concerns, the accessibility issues around entry ways and medical facilities.   Many seniors have a walker, are in a wheelchair, or have a disability of some sort.  That all requires extra time and patience - both for them and me.  Getting them door to door becomes habit and the route makes sure their door is at the destination door.  No crossing any streets on my watch.

I really have loved dealing and gaining the trust and respect of the seniors I transport.  It is a pleasure to serve them as I can.  My Dad always said I had a "ministry" with my job and in many ways the van is a place where these fine ladies and gentlemen can tell their life story without judgement and with complete privacy. "What's said in the van - stays in the van".  Giving back to those who have given so much to the generations after them is the very least we all can do.

Now onward into year number four.

Stow-Away

Shopping trips are a highlight for many mobile residents and are frequently filled to the brim making it necessary to use the bus (eight seats and one wheelchair bay).  Tuesdays and Thursdays are devoted to these trips, with Shopping Centres on Tuesdays and Grocery Stores on Thursdays.

Today was no exception and the destination was Wal-Mart or Winners.   I loaded all passengers in and asked the question “Wal-Mart? Winners?” to each passenger as they boarded. Believe it or not Wal-Mart wins every time.  Every one was aboard with  the exception of the final passenger, a 100 year old lady, and when asked the question, whispered, with a wink,  “neither – I’m just tagging along for the ride – it can be our little secret.”

[And it was]  I drove out to Wal-Mart, helped everyone off the bus and got the wheelchair passenger out, and got back on to see this little lady sitting so happily in the seat. The others would figure she was on her way to Winners right? She said,  “Now just take your time driving back.  Since I can’t walk I need to make my absence look like I was exercising as usual” and giggled.  As we drove through the city streets, many probably drastically changed over her 100 years of living in this fine city, I would glance back in my mirror and see a watered eye as she watched house and garden go by, snow bank and white yards, and just take it all in.   

When we got back she commented on “how wonderful that excursion was” and thanked me profusely.  She said she felt “liberated” again and “the four walls won’t seem so closed in now for awhile.”

I said it was my sincere pleasure to have her as company.

I thought afterwards and before I sat and wrote this, how sad it is that one can live so long, and still feel trapped by an environment, and still want to get out, move, walk, take a ride, anything.  This very same lady once answered a question I asked about how one makes it one hundred years by telling me, after a thoughtful pause – “attitude!”   She is so right!

[Just as a little backup info for you – this lady has had a couple of falls lately and after being so active has lost her confidence to venture out alone or at all depending on the weather and sidewalk conditions – this set-back was so very obvious when she was my “stow-away” today.  Her attitude will keep her going regardless I figure]

There May Not Be Enough Time

Mr F has been with us for almost two and a half years.  During that time he and his wife have enjoyed the comforts the residence has to offer including “News & Views” discussions, Art Shows, Museums, Reading Clubs and anything that represents education or information.  They did enjoy a couple of City Tours but they decided that a weekly trip around the city, which they had already heard about and researched, would not be stimulating enough.

In any case, Mr. F has had breathing issues and a recent bout of pneumonia did not help him.  In fact he has declined considerably over the last six months.  He used to walk daily around the block, and even had me take him to Point Pleasant Park in the south end where he first would walk the park then back to the residence [a significant walk].

Early in 2016 he booked a ride to Gladstone Medical where he was going to get his hearing aid replaced (lost in the laundry).  As always, I asked him how he was making out lately.  His comments about his health did not surprise me as he related that his lung had not improved and he feared the worse of course.  He added that he is going to take part in a Robbie Burns function and as a Scot he felt a kilt would be in order but realized his shape had changed somewhat since he last wore it and “maybe it wasn’t worth altering as he may not last long enough to justify the alterations.”  On the way back he was pleased with the result of a ‘loaner’ hearing aid and said they were ordering a new one using his former health plan in Ontario.  He felt that “since he probably does not have long it would not make any difference about the cost anyway so why not.”

This attitude and I suppose coming to grips with your final days must weight heavy on the people at the residence regardless of finances or education..

[I should add here that two years seems to be the length of time a person has after they move into the residence if suffering from physical issues at the start]

Don’t Be Afraid

Ms W moved into the residence in December 2013.  As a new resident from another similar retirement residence she did her comparisons and seems to like the change.  She needed a lift to the shopping centre to return something received over Christmas and since it was not a busy day she was scheduled to go out at 2:30, just after the City Tour.

She “swung” (as she put it) into the seat of the van and we were off.  Her discussion was about how the season had changed, how the world had changed, how people have changed.  I got her to the door and decided it would be easier to wait for her than to go back to the residence and sat and watched busy Boxing Day shoppers converge on the centre.  About thirty minutes later she arrived back and we slipped through town to get back “home”.  Her conversation started about a lady she had met and recognized at the shopping center and she said at first she didn’t recognize her then everything clicked and it was “as if they had never lost touch”.  She was 95 and when asked by Ms W about her husband she quickly replied “which one?”.  She laughed as she said “oops”.  The lady had continued with “oh he has been dead for years”.  So Ms W asked “ok, the second one?”.  “Nope”, he is dead too. “Third?  He was sick and about to die.  So she was actually looking for number four now.  Well this struck Ms W funny and she started laughing.  When we got back the General Manager was there and commented on how good I was and Ms Wallace said that if nobody was around “I’d give him a great big hug”… [then she gave me a great big hug anyways.]  She looked at me with a great big smile.. “now be careful, I may not be looking for #4 but I might chase after you.”  Our inside joke caught everyone off guard at the concierge desk and especially with the GM. 

 

Good advice! “Don’t be afraid.”

A Slow Spin

Early in the life of the residence it was easy to get to know residents as they moved in (usually 1 or 2 a week at the most).  When you saw these people you got to know them better every time and names became easier with each meeting.  This was no exception with a lady who had moved to the 2^nd floor (Enhanced Care).. I’ll call her Ell.  She was younger than anyone there at the time but her disease was eating away at her body – Parkinson’s mixed with Dimentia!  She was actually given only months to live and her quality of life was given her by her brother who never failed to visit her every single day.

She arrived in the late winter of the first year of the residence (2013) and was able to walk and take part in many activities as long as she had a care-worker with her.  Her condition was bad and as the months rolled along into spring, summer and fall she failed quickly.  But before she got too bad I remember one time when she was walking through the lobby and as the music was playing (and she loved to dance) she asked me with her weak voice to hold her hands and dance.  It was a slow back and forth then she wanted to “spin” and as I held her weak hand she jerkingly and very slowly spun under my arm to complete the dance move.  During the entire time she was all smiles and you could tell she would have loved to let ‘er rip in a fast dance but her body was never going to react like that again.  She attended the extended Peggy’s Cove tour and enjoyed the fresh air.  She often walked outside for her exercise with her care worker, but eventually by late 2013 we never saw her downstairs as much and if we did she was bending over more and moving even slower – her words unable to make it from her mind to her mouth. 

Early in 2014 Ell passed away.  Her brother had stopped by to see her as usual, and then left.  Thirty minutes later he arrived back after receiving a message. Family arrived and the process of mourning and caring for her began.  It was a sad day!  She will be missed without a doubt but is doing that wonderful dance ‘spin’ with gusto now.  Let ‘er rip Ell!!

Remembering Squared

As you know I drive almost 100 kilometers a day transporting the residence seniors  to and from appointments or shopping/leisure trips.  Every day brings different observations and feelings.  Every person that sits in the van or the bus reveals something about himself or herself in a very profound way.

Today (past tense) was no different with one exception that stood out and really brought things to a new perspective for me. 

Mr R’s son booked the bus earlier this week for today at 11:00 to take his Dad out.  I made myself and the bus available and we made our way.  After dropping Ms T off downtown we proceeded to the Fairview Lawn cemetery and entered from Windsor Street.  Mr R Jr directed me around the cemetery to the back section so the side of the bus where Mr R Sr could look out of was facing the stone of his beloved wife.

I walked up to the stone to point it out to him and his son came with me.  We talked about the family loss (2002) and the son obviously appreciated the time to remember his mom.  We both looked towards the bus and there looking with tears in his eyes and his head down was Mr R Sr remembering his wife.

Mr R Jr is a very serious business-like man when we are on medical visits and the like, but today he was a softer appreciative gentleman who truly was thankful for the opportunity to let his Dad visit his Mom on the anniversary of her death.  (Mr R Sr passed away not long after this entry)

May God Bless them!!!!  He sure blessed me today!

“Oh My Dear Friend”

Dr. M is an educated educator of English appreciation.  She is very well spoken and plans well ahead even at her advanced age.  My first experience and in fact one of my first rides was to take Dr. M to Bayer’s Lake to pick up a new LCD TV for her room.  Her sister was with her and is a very direct Torontonian.  I liked them both immediately and was more than willing to help them out. 

Getting Dr. M into the van has with it a set of steps that must be followed precisely to Dr. M’s satisfaction.

Firstly, I must walk beside her to the van placing the walker to the left of the front door (her preferred seat by-the-way).  Next, I must place her bag (which contains everything from soup to nuts and of course soft candy) between the seats.  I then must place the stool to the right of her so she can turn and place one foot (as she is very short) on the stool to boost her to the seat into which she plops and then exclaims with a giggle every-time while holding both my hands.. “Oh my dear friend, I made it”.  She then spins into her place lifting her coat so she can get comfortable.  I am then to buckle her in and close the door gently.  I then place her walker and the stool in the back of the van and settle in to take her to her location.  Of course if there are others to come they have waited patiently while I perform the ‘entry procedure’, and then are helped into the remaining seats.

Naturally, upon arrival, the steps must be performed in the opposite direction (maybe with the exception of the stool).  While returning she comments on how wonderful it is to get out and go for a drive with me (her wonderful friend) and that she will always remember my gracious welcome to her when she arrived at the residence.  I was her “first impression” and she reminds me often how it helped her adapt to her new retirement residence.  She always hands me a soft candy and she has one of her own – our treat for the ride.

The final step is to walk with her to the front doors, press my own key to admit her through to the lobby and wish her a “great day”.

She replies “Thank you, my dear friend”.

In 2015 she fell and must use a wheelchair and has a care giver, and now uses our wheelchair bus to get around.  Not as many steps but just as appreciated.

Funerals and Banks

Mr. E was a professor at SMU and Dal for many years and as a result knows many people.  He is a very educated man with quick wit and a devious smile.  There are many occasions when he gets a ride to the bank but since he knows so many people who are aging as he is he also attends many funerals.  If he sees me standing for a second either waiting for a resident or taking care of door duties he asks me if I am looking for more business – an obvious hint for a ride. 

 

Lately I refer to him as Pastor E to which he giggles.  In June of 2015 I lost my Dad to cancer.  I received many kind and thoughtful notes from residents at the residence.  Mr E wrote a note that I still carry in my suit coat pocket (I can show you if we ever meet).  It expresses kind, sympathetic and comforting (ensuring) words that helped me cope (and still do) with that grief.  It also helps me appreciate Mr E‘s wisdom and attitude on life’s path.

 

One can't help but appreciate what you can learn from experience.  I have come to truly appreciate Mr E for his "friendship".  It is very hard to refuse that man a ride!

Seniors Tours

New Bus - that's it over there >>>>

[Just before the spring thaw of 2013, we received a new custom made black limo bus with wheel-chair ramp and audio visual systems. The plush soft black leather seats with a big letter monogrammed on the seats and limo style design lighting and above seat controls makes this vehicle the pride of all of the fleet. It holds 9 people and 2 wheel-chairs comfortably and is used often to transport those in wheelchairs or for groups greater than three to locations around the city.]

Peggy’s Cove Tour - The First Outing

The new bus allows us to load up some 2^nd and 3^rd floor residents for tours organized by the Harmony and Wellness Team. These people have no time outside of the building unless family takes them so this is the highlight of their week. I have acquired quite a following as a result. In fact even those in independent living suites have joined the group.

A special Saturday trip to Peggy’s Cove was planned and with a great deal of excitement we loaded the bus for the trip. The Harmony staff leader brought along tea and cookies to munch on when we arrived at the Cove. I had done many Peggy’s Cove tours with Ambassatours but this tour was so very special as I was dealing with special passengers on limited time. I gave some commentary around the loop and we arrived back 2 hours later.

[At the Residence there was a “Wow” program to recognize service above the standards. I received one for this trip. I did it for no wage!]

On a weekly basis, that being every Friday at 1:30, I give a City Tour.  It lasts for an hour, and I always receive the same line, "Are we back already?" in a tone of disappointment.  We go around the city zig-zagging up and down streets, around the Citadel, along the waterfront especially when a cruise ship is in and through the south end of the city.  There is always a trip unless the streets are dangerous.  I received the name "Singing Chauffeur"  from these trips as I always try to add a quick song near the end of the tour. Many times you can hear the passengers singing along with a smile in their voices. It is a highlight of my week as I know it is for these residents.

We have had extended trips to restaurants and even made it to Masstown Market one Friday.  Everyone has so much fun.  My Dad called my job "a ministry" - and in a way I suppose it is as I give back without expecting anything in return.

Traffic Control

Ms R is from a prominent family in the city and moved in due to heart problems but can talk a blue streak with a quick sense of humor. She remembers her husband often and relates stories too numerous at times to remember. One does come to the forefront though. She was the designated driver when taking her aged husband for a drive and coming back through the Armdale Rotary was speeding along and eventually stopped by the police officer nearby. As the officer walked to her window and peered inside, and knowing immediately who he had stopped, asked the customary question “do you know why I stopped you?”.. but before Ms R could reply Mr R said quickly “Give it to her officer”. Needless to say she never got a ticket, but she laughs about that day every time we go though an intersection. I now say our route should be clear with Ms R tagging along. She laughs enthusiastically every time. Ms R gets 3 bottles of rye every week. She loves “her drink” as she says her husband would have said.

[Ms R. has a special way to get into the van and if one of the steps is left out she is quick to remind me) – I seldom forget, to avoid the speech ]

Sleep Apnea

Ms M was a lady who obviously had worked tirelessly in a government job and was highly organized, but in her advanced years and at the start of her fight with dementia was forgetting things. However she was dealing with sleep apnea and was off to pick up a new machine required to monitor the problem. ($5000 item). I dropped her off and thirty minutes later she called to return and on the way back she related this fascinating story: 

Not long after the loss of her husband she went on a vacation with a friend. She had no idea that she snored so while sleeping and snoring in a room with this other lady she was obviously found out and when she jumped out of a deep sleep because of the apnea she opened her eyes to see her room-mate holding a pillow just above her face to which she commented calmly “and what are you doing?”. This naturally startled the lady who obviously had other ideas on how to stop her snoring. Ms M never had any problem with that lady after that. 

[true or fabricated I am sure it is not out of the question]

Triage Trifecta

As you can imagine in a facility that has an average age of 85 there tends to be a few accidents in the run of a year.  As we rolled out of 2015 just before the Holiday the day started as usual – staff arrived, systems were checked, the van was prepared for the day, the bus was cleared of snow, and the dining room staff arrived to start breakfast - and so on. 

Meanwhile, the nurse was summoned to the 2^nd or was it the 3^rd floor to attend to normal rounds.  During those rounds she heard a commotion in a room down the corridor.  There on the floor of her suite lay a woman in severe pain from what was determined to be a broken hip. Paramedics were called and off to the hospital she was whisked. (Number 1)

The day moved along and at about mid-day again the nurse was called to a floor above – this time a lady was finding it hard to breathe so paramedics were called and off she was whisked to the hospital to make sure it was not a heart problem. [This sort of thing is quite common at the residence]. (Number 2)

After the weather had cleared and more people were mulling around on the main level at the desk, one lady (paralyzed on the left side by-the-way) arrived from upstairs and was making her way along from the elevators to the desk, and another (very dainty to say the least) was following her husband in from a pleasant walk outside.  They knew each other well and as the lady going out leaned to hug the lady coming in they both lost their balance and crashed to the floor.  The scream brought the nurse running and after a very quick check of both it was determined that the lady leaving was fine, but the dainty lady who had just finished a safe walk on wet, snowy and icy sidewalks had broken her hip.  Paramedics arrived after the quick 911 call and she too was whisked to the ER, husband tagging along. (Number 3)

My Dad always said “things happen in threes”.  He would have been so right on this day.  The nurse showed her true professional colors that day and when we chatted later she could only exclaim “what a day!!”

I learned a valuable lesson too: in this fast paced unpredictable life of ours – take it easy and live every day to its fullest because things can change so fast.  Happy New Year!!