Misses Cars - Loves Dogs - Never on Meds

Ms C came to us reluctantly but for reasons necessary for her health and welfare.  At first she was really shy and felt undeserving of a chauffeured ride.  She is always surprised that she can call on me to take her anywhere she wants and she always feels as if she is putting me out. 

 

On one occasion however as we drove to her appointment she noticed dogs playing on a school yard along Jubilee Road.  She immediately sighed and commented on how she missed her car but then after a thoughtful pause.... how she really missed her dog. 

 

It shows me how things like money or location are nothing compared to memories.

 
On another occasion, Ms C was so glad to be transported to one of many hairstylists I visit each week.  As we left the building she made a profound comment. “I would walk but it’s kind of cold, and you know I will probably walk back – good exercise – and at 83 I am not on any medication – it makes me feel great.”  

When you look at this lady you would never know she was in her eighties and when you see her smile you know she is a healthy lady in her autumn years.  She did walk back, by-the-way.  It was a 5 kilometer walk.

[I should mention here that when I am in a one-on-one situation in the van there is a level of comfort and trust and this gets greater with each trip as each resident reveals something more about him or herself.]

Clichés and Kindness

Mr R, one of my first driving companions back in 2013, was told he couldn’t drive anymore, not because he couldn’t drive physically, but because he was forgetting where places were and could possibly get lost.  So, I was asked to take him to an appointment. 

 

I mentioned how cold it was, to which he responded “yes, many are cold, but few are frozen” – a great play on that wonderful piece of scripture.  As we were driving out of the driveway, he commented in his usual quick witty way that his family felt he was getting 'feeble' but he felt he was more in a CRAFT state – that is he “Couldn’t remember a f’n thing”.  We both laughed.  Whenever he gets out of the van he always says that he “can get to the curb from here”.

Mr R does not use my service often now that his family is nearby but he never fails to ask me "if he could remember what he needed at the Superstore would I take him" to which I always say I could but he better think about it.  He never returns of course.

 

What is amazing about this gentleman is his kindness and superb manners for his advanced age (91).  He had many years in the medical field and when I asked about issues around my own son's health he was extremely helpful and obviously well versed in dealing with the issue.  Thanks Mr R.

 

As he would say, "as I said once to a girlfriend, 'it has been a business doing pleasure with you'".

[I have learned through the study of dementia that many intelligent people diagnosed with the symptoms cover it up very well with clichés or repeated jokes – a normal response to a forgetful disease.. there are many expressions repeated over and over by Mr R, but always enjoyed by this chauffeur] 

Watered Heart

Ms G – this lady was at the healthy age of 95 at the time of this note but was as keen as anyone I’ve known in their fifties.  She had an appointment with her doctor and she too related how important relationships with family are to her.  On this occasion though, her daughter was out of town and she required my service to get her to the doctor for the outcome of x-rays previously taken that week. 

 

When she returned she was ok but revealed to me that she had liquid around her heart and they were watching her. She said she could have walked such a short distance (feeling guilty that is was such a short trip).  Even this did not dampen her spirit as she bid me a happy day and figured she’d go have a stiff drink to celebrate another day.

One nasty winter day in Jan 2015 I took Ms G to Fenwick Street.  The street was blocked just before the entrance to her clinic backing traffic up, so I was forced to back up the full length of the street to go around and come in the other way. 

 

She never forgets that reverse trip and talks about her amazement at how I was able to do that.  Our trips have been very comfortable ever since :)

Something as simple as reversing a street is being watched, with interest, as residents watch the chauffeur get them to and from their appointments safely.

Her heart may have water around it but it is still pretty big.

Three Years Today! Jan 21 - 2016

Well today marks exactly 3 years employed by the seniors residence as the Singing Chauffeur.  The residence actually opened for residency on February 7th of 2013.

A cake was made for the staff including the twenty 'originals' remaining from about fifty hired to start the building systems and procedures back on this date in 2013.  We had two solid weeks of orientation back then.  The new hired staff now gets a day and a half.  We didn't have many residents back then but we learned their names fast as the place started to take more in.  Now there are over 170 people and with the exception of maybe the latest twenty newcomers, we know them all.  The newer staff watch in disbelief as we communicate with those we know as friends in a comfortable and respectful way on a first name basis.  The van used to move two or three times a day (and not far).  Now I switch from van to bus and back every half hour from 8-4 Monday to Friday with an average of 70 kilometres daily just on the peninsula of Halifax.

I would like to say "thank you"  for the experience I have gained in a seniors' environment while doing what I love - driving.  The extra alertness required helping seniors has taught me to be a very careful and an alert driver, not to mention patient.  Taking precious cargo like an 85-103 year old has a lot of responsibility attached to it.  I am watched very carefully as I drive the streets.  It is gratifying to receive comments on my patience, capability, and skill at driving.  Every corner has to be smooth, every street navigated gently, and every start and stop, without a jerk or squeal.  Road rage is not possible (I have almost bitten my tongue off and have clenched my fist many times to not lay on the horn).   After all the van is well marked and well-known in the city.  It would be hard to not be seen next time.

It is not just a 'hop in and let's go' kind of chauffeuring either.  There are steps to be taken to get a senior comfortable in the van or bus; there are the steps and sidewalks, the ramps and wheelchair concerns, the accessibility issues around entry ways and medical facilities.   Many seniors have a walker, are in a wheelchair, or have a disability of some sort.  That all requires extra time and patience - both for them and me.  Getting them door to door becomes habit and the route makes sure their door is at the destination door.  No crossing any streets on my watch.

I really have loved dealing and gaining the trust and respect of the seniors I transport.  It is a pleasure to serve them as I can.  My Dad always said I had a "ministry" with my job and in many ways the van is a place where these fine ladies and gentlemen can tell their life story without judgement and with complete privacy. "What's said in the van - stays in the van".  Giving back to those who have given so much to the generations after them is the very least we all can do.

Now onward into year number four.

Stow-Away

Shopping trips are a highlight for many mobile residents and are frequently filled to the brim making it necessary to use the bus (eight seats and one wheelchair bay).  Tuesdays and Thursdays are devoted to these trips, with Shopping Centres on Tuesdays and Grocery Stores on Thursdays.

Today was no exception and the destination was Wal-Mart or Winners.   I loaded all passengers in and asked the question “Wal-Mart? Winners?” to each passenger as they boarded. Believe it or not Wal-Mart wins every time.  Every one was aboard with  the exception of the final passenger, a 100 year old lady, and when asked the question, whispered, with a wink,  “neither – I’m just tagging along for the ride – it can be our little secret.”

[And it was]  I drove out to Wal-Mart, helped everyone off the bus and got the wheelchair passenger out, and got back on to see this little lady sitting so happily in the seat. The others would figure she was on her way to Winners right? She said,  “Now just take your time driving back.  Since I can’t walk I need to make my absence look like I was exercising as usual” and giggled.  As we drove through the city streets, many probably drastically changed over her 100 years of living in this fine city, I would glance back in my mirror and see a watered eye as she watched house and garden go by, snow bank and white yards, and just take it all in.   

When we got back she commented on “how wonderful that excursion was” and thanked me profusely.  She said she felt “liberated” again and “the four walls won’t seem so closed in now for awhile.”

I said it was my sincere pleasure to have her as company.

I thought afterwards and before I sat and wrote this, how sad it is that one can live so long, and still feel trapped by an environment, and still want to get out, move, walk, take a ride, anything.  This very same lady once answered a question I asked about how one makes it one hundred years by telling me, after a thoughtful pause – “attitude!”   She is so right!

[Just as a little backup info for you – this lady has had a couple of falls lately and after being so active has lost her confidence to venture out alone or at all depending on the weather and sidewalk conditions – this set-back was so very obvious when she was my “stow-away” today.  Her attitude will keep her going regardless I figure]

There May Not Be Enough Time

Mr F has been with us for almost two and a half years.  During that time he and his wife have enjoyed the comforts the residence has to offer including “News & Views” discussions, Art Shows, Museums, Reading Clubs and anything that represents education or information.  They did enjoy a couple of City Tours but they decided that a weekly trip around the city, which they had already heard about and researched, would not be stimulating enough.

In any case, Mr. F has had breathing issues and a recent bout of pneumonia did not help him.  In fact he has declined considerably over the last six months.  He used to walk daily around the block, and even had me take him to Point Pleasant Park in the south end where he first would walk the park then back to the residence [a significant walk].

Early in 2016 he booked a ride to Gladstone Medical where he was going to get his hearing aid replaced (lost in the laundry).  As always, I asked him how he was making out lately.  His comments about his health did not surprise me as he related that his lung had not improved and he feared the worse of course.  He added that he is going to take part in a Robbie Burns function and as a Scot he felt a kilt would be in order but realized his shape had changed somewhat since he last wore it and “maybe it wasn’t worth altering as he may not last long enough to justify the alterations.”  On the way back he was pleased with the result of a ‘loaner’ hearing aid and said they were ordering a new one using his former health plan in Ontario.  He felt that “since he probably does not have long it would not make any difference about the cost anyway so why not.”

This attitude and I suppose coming to grips with your final days must weight heavy on the people at the residence regardless of finances or education..

[I should add here that two years seems to be the length of time a person has after they move into the residence if suffering from physical issues at the start]

Don’t Be Afraid

Ms W moved into the residence in December 2013.  As a new resident from another similar retirement residence she did her comparisons and seems to like the change.  She needed a lift to the shopping centre to return something received over Christmas and since it was not a busy day she was scheduled to go out at 2:30, just after the City Tour.

She “swung” (as she put it) into the seat of the van and we were off.  Her discussion was about how the season had changed, how the world had changed, how people have changed.  I got her to the door and decided it would be easier to wait for her than to go back to the residence and sat and watched busy Boxing Day shoppers converge on the centre.  About thirty minutes later she arrived back and we slipped through town to get back “home”.  Her conversation started about a lady she had met and recognized at the shopping center and she said at first she didn’t recognize her then everything clicked and it was “as if they had never lost touch”.  She was 95 and when asked by Ms W about her husband she quickly replied “which one?”.  She laughed as she said “oops”.  The lady had continued with “oh he has been dead for years”.  So Ms W asked “ok, the second one?”.  “Nope”, he is dead too. “Third?  He was sick and about to die.  So she was actually looking for number four now.  Well this struck Ms W funny and she started laughing.  When we got back the General Manager was there and commented on how good I was and Ms Wallace said that if nobody was around “I’d give him a great big hug”… [then she gave me a great big hug anyways.]  She looked at me with a great big smile.. “now be careful, I may not be looking for #4 but I might chase after you.”  Our inside joke caught everyone off guard at the concierge desk and especially with the GM. 

 

Good advice! “Don’t be afraid.”