NEXT Phase!

NEXT Phase!

Here we are at the end of another August.  The last weekend before Universities populate, school re-convene, and summer vacations come to a close.  Seems to me that's the circle we go around every year and adjust to every time.

Well a new phase has begun for this "chauffeur" as well.  I will never forget my Dad's last words to me: "Take Care Of Yourself".  Those words are etched on my heart and mind.  So last week I removed myself from the twice a week driving involvement with the seniors retirement residence and have embraced a semi-retired status.

People have asked me what I plan to do?  Well for now, I will help with driving buses for cruise ships for Ambassatours.  It will be a great way to see the sites with vacationers from far and wide.  I'll mow the lawn when needed.  I will visit my camp in Margaree Valley.  I'll sit and watch the sea from my back step.  Whatever it is I will be able to flip a coin and do things as they present themselves to me.

I read an article today that said:

“Semi-retirement refers specifically to a person’s relationship to paid work. The semi-retirees work for pay only enough hours to meet their monetary needs. After that they spend much of their time in non-paid work like strengthening relationships, pursuing hobbies or performing community service. Semi-retirees arrange their lives so that they can afford the ‘luxury’ of not having to work for pay from sun to sun" - (Retirement Cheatsheet)

I like that idea and at 60 years young I think it is about time.  My Dad retired at 60 and always said I should plan to do the same.  Well Dad, I followed your advice and am enjoying it.

This, therefore, will conclude "Memoirs of a Chauffeur".  It was an interesting phase too, but if you really want to know the true 'story' behind seniors residences I'd be happy to enlighten you.  Drop me a line :)

Carpe diem!!

Paul

That's a Rap!

Hi everyone..

[I meant to mention how grateful I am to have had over 1400 people read my posts.  It is gratifying to be noticed online.]

My summer has been fun - two days at Shannex and the rest of the time renovating, driving for Ambassatours, or just sitting in the sun.

I have been successful at conducting a driver/guided tour to Lunenburg/Mahone Bay a couple times a week.  It sure is a beautiful place to visit and giving a tour helps me find out even more about the places and give others a chance to join me.  Mixed in with this tour I have had a couple Peggy's Cove runs for cruise ships and charters to transfer passengers from a hotel to Murphy's and back and YMCA campers to (or from) New Glasgow.

It has been a great summer with our warm weather. 

Enjoy yourself and be careful! Talk soon as I arrange my life a bit :)

Paul

Summer Retreats

Hi everyone

It has been awhile since I had the inclination to type an entry here but I felt like bringing you up to speed.

June and July 2016 have been part-time months - Mondays and Tuesdays only - and it has been less stressful knowing that only two days are required to be on 'triple alert' to assist seniors in city traffic.  Traffic is great during the summer though and getting to and from destinations has been great!!!

Today (July 20) a scheduled Peggy's Cove luncheon trip made for an extra day as the new driver had to still handle the daily schedule.  We left at 10:00 sharp and enjoyed a fantastic meal at the Rhubarb Restaurant in Indian Harbour, then visited Acadian Maple in Upper Tantallon, and drove back to the city through Hammonds Plains and finished with a mini city tour.  Everyone truly loved the trip and everyone expressed a sincere thank you for the day and that they miss me.  I just responded that I'd be back Monday and Tuesday, but it is nice to be missed :)

I found that this road trip was very relaxed and relaxing.  No deadlines and just plain conversation and fun. 

I drive some for Ambassatours Gray Line seasonally, and have for the last 14 years.  Taking seniors out gives me a chance to keep my commentary fresh and on the tip of my tongue.  They really enjoy the added information.

I was always told that when one semi-retires he can be busier than he thinks.  True enough.  I still work 5 days a week if not more, but at the same time the days I work for Ambassatours often start later and I am always home for supper and a good night's sleep.  I have added Lunenburg driver/guided tours to my list and this has really been fun.  The heat of the day can be a challenge with a kilt, but it makes time fly when the walking tour is included when you arrive in town.

Overall, I am enjoying semi-retirement.  I have variety, still keep in touch with the seniors and meet new people with Ambassatours.  And two paycheques makes a difference too :)  When the CPP kicks in it will be even sweeter.

When you reach 60 I highly suggest drawing on CPP.    Find a part-time job that you are passionate about, make a few dollars, and enjoy life!  Balance is key when there are only 5 working years left before old age security.

In the meantime - all the best and keep me posted on your summer.

Chauffeur Paul

Part-time Ministry

There comes a time in every work assignment when one needs to move on.  As chauffeur at the Residence I decided in my 60th year on this earth to take the advice of my Dad and semi-retire at 60 starting on June 6th, 2016.  This entry is to let you know that my full week of transporting seniors has been reduced to two days each week (Mondays and Tuesdays).

There very well may be stories that come out of this change and it may very well be because of this change.  In fact many residents have told me they will have to change their appointment dates to coincide with Mondays and Tuesdays.

There will be another driver taking up the slack (Wednesday, Thursday and Friday) and there is a Sunday driver.

I will keep you posted.

Have a great weekend.

A Night at Needham

During one of the weekly City Tours – this particular trip to remember the Halifax Explosion (Dec 6, 1917 – 9:05 a.m.) - we drove around the city so we would eventually go along the harbor from Bedford Basin towards the Pier. 

 

I told the story of that 'dark day' and pointed out the place the explosion occurred and then commented on the help we received from Boston.  As we drove around I pointed out the school that still has blinds pulled in memory of the children saved on that fateful day.  Then we drove back to the North End and visited Fort Needham where a monument with bells sits as a memorial to the Explosion.  This is in front of the Hydrostone area of Halifax (buildings built to withstand another such explosion and still standing beautifully and strong today as 96 years ago). 

 

Ms P (usually quite quiet) piped up and asked if she could tell a story.  She commented that she lived nearby and a lady was in child labour and she was making very scary noises.  Ms P got in contact with two friends and to avoid the scary noises they spent the night on Fort Needham hill (a spooky spot today). 

 

She still giggles about it.

Ms P has very bad eye sight and has told me often as she gets into the van how "pretty soon she won't be able to", or "I think the van it getting taller" to which we both smile and attempt to find a way to lower it.  One thing she never misses to repeat is "don't get old - it ain't for sissies"

As bad as her eye-sight is she still visits Sobeys and on her own finds the few things she needs.

[During this Easter Season (2016) think of a senior near you and remember them in your prayers.]

Short and Sweet

Ms L is an educated and cultured resident at the residence.  There is never a day that she does not take advantage of the chauffeur service.  She is a small statured lady with spunk and she still attends a weekly Art Appreciation course at the NS Art Gallery.  I take her to her weekly hairdressing appointment as well as many trips to Lawton’s or second hand stores where she enjoys looking for novel items (sometimes buying but often not).  When I talk to Ms L I have to raise my voice but while looking at her she moves her mouth mimicking my words.

Ms L has children and one of her daughters lives in Australia and is often in Gaza working as a journalist.  She is spoken of with great pride by her mother.

No matter what may be on her mind, or if she is cold or hot, feeling bad or good, she will always comment on the “nice day” – what a great attitude.

In 2015 Ms L was assigned to an extended care suite and requires a care worker as her dementia has advanced to a dangerous state of confusion. 

 

I miss the ole Ms L.  I seldom see her now other than within the halls of the building but she continues to be quite the lady and dressed to the nines.  If the weather looks bad she gives me "permission to go home" and giggles.

[Ms L has a look very similar to what my mother will look like should she make it to 90 years of age (elegantly dressed, proper manners and the like), so I enjoyed our trips together for that very reason J)

Drama-mean

As you can imagine, with 170 people in the residence and all at a different class, this can lend itself to a rather interesting dynamic as the community blends during some functions or people tend to get to know each other better (or worse).

This became quite clear the other day when after several weeks of obvious flirtation that something had to come to a head.

Ms J and Mr J have been together a very long time.  Ms J is paralyzed now so Mr J tends to be backing off and not as attentive to her.  One can see why this might happen based on human need but at the same time Ms J is a stage in her fragile life where his attention is needed even more now.

Having said that, Mr J has been quite obvious at each musical function by dancing with any lady willing.  Lately he tends to lean towards one particular lady and in front of his watching wife.  She is feeling bad and angry.

So with this background let me tell you of an interesting confrontation displaying pure drama.

Ms J had an appointment made and was waiting patiently but with obvious agitation as she wanted to get out of the building.  Ms K was sitting on an opposite side of the lobby waiting for her friends to come down for lunch.  [May I say here that Ms K is a woman that minces no words and has a tendency to take on a leadership role in a group.]  So as the hour arrived I motioned to Ms J that it was time to go and she started her way to the door,  This takes her a quite a bit of time based on her disability.  I was standing at the door to open it when she got closer but she walked by me and approached Ms K (a friend of the lady whom Mr J has been flirting with by-the-way). 

Ms J looked at Ms K.. and said with a firm angry tone "stay away from my husband!!".  Well you could have heard a pin drop in the lobby at this point as everyone thought someone may experience a stroke during what could soon be a heated discussion.  Ms K looked Ms J in the eye and said "I have never and am not and never will look for your husband.. NO, NO, NO!, it was not me" 

Ms J was not sure if Ms K was telling her the truth but based on the reaction she turned and made her way to the door to go to the van.  Her poor care worker was unsure at this point how to handle this, but as Ms J got between the doors and expressed her anger I assured her that we needed to go for the little drive to her appointment which would help her relax.

When she got into the van, she soon calmed down, and one could see that her anger was on the fine line to sadness.  Her appointment was to check her eyes for glaucoma - she feared it tremendously - and this must have fueled her anger even more.  She could not see the lady who was attracting her husband, and the last thing she needed was to not see physically.  This must have sickened her.  I told her I would shoot up a prayer and she said she was staying positive going in.

A couple of hours later I received the call to pick up Ms J and when I arrived I kept it light and asked her "so what is the verdict?" to which she smiled and said "I do not need to see this doctor for six months" - she was fine.

The drama continues as you can imagine and I do not see Ms J downstairs as she can not stand the looks and the atmosphere.  This a sad state of "affairs".

[In a place that has over 160 people, tempers can flare - and it can start over class, culinary preference, and couples.  Such a communal  atmosphere is interesting to watch]

Cancer, Oxygen, “Pull-the-plug”

The day had the usual chauffeured runs but the theme seemed to revolve around sudden shocking news or reactions. 

 

Early in the day I took a lady whom I have come to respect as a shy but demanding lady with a very soft heart.  On our way to the appointment she revealed to me that she had been “diagnosed with cancer” and was still in shock by the news.  I told her how sorry I was and offered to keep her in my thoughts to which she was greatly appreciative. 

Mid-way through the day I met a courier in the lobby with oxygen tanks for a resident (Mr F) and with Mr F’s permission took the courier to his room to deliver the new canisters (five total) and to take three he had used.  As you may remember Mr F is a well learned man but is in need of oxygen continuously.  He now requires at the minimum 5 tanks of oxygen to stay comfortable in a 5 day period.  Scary when one thinks about it.

At the end of the day I took Ms E to the south end and she had seen me with the oxygen man and she commented on how she had remembered Mr F to be so vibrant walking everywhere without any medically required devices just a year ago.  We both commented on how so many people have been failing over the years since the building opened and it was sad to watch them get to near-end points in their lives. 

It was at this point that she made a statement that I am sure many feel at the residence.  “If I ever get to the point, where I would need oxygen, or some other help to continue living, I told my family through my Will to “pull-the-plug”.  “I want no resuscitation.”

[Many people are definitely programmed to try to “survive” by any means they can.  Our medical system and technology has extended our lives with gadgets and gas.  Some people don’t want to extend it if it is a burden to anyone.  I am sure you will agree with me that when you or I get to that state we will want to make it happen painlessly and peacefully and fast – to just “pull-the-plug!]

Intellect and Intensity

Mr. and Mrs. F are cultured and intelligent and are very quiet for the most part.  Each is never seen without the other and their loyalty and love for each other is obvious. Mr. F is well read and obviously very interested in many topics.  Having lived in BC they compare but also are keenly interested in Halifax and NS.  They participate in all trips such as grocery and shopping trips as well as the weekly city tour.

On the longest trip in 2013 we went on a wine tour in the valley.  We had a full bus that day and visited Luckett’s Winery and Grand Pre Winery.  After eight samples of wine and lunch, the quiet and reserved Mr. and Mrs. F truly loosened up and I must say needed each other even more than emotionally but to hold each other up.  They showed how much they enjoyed and intensely took in everything they did and will do together.

If there is something to remember as a driver for a city tour I take it very seriously to research a trip before going and if there was going to be a question for which I needed an answer, it often came from Mr. F 

Mr F was rushed to the hospital in late 2015 with breathing problems… he was admitted and soon after released.  He wanted me to bring him home.  His wife came along.  He is never without oxygen and has stopped his daily walks which could be hours in length.

 

Both Mr and Mrs F have failed significantly in early 2016 and although still with us using the services less and less and each can get assistance medically within the residence.

Wealth and Company

Mr R and Ms E stay together in one of the larger suites at the residence.  She cares for his needs as he struggles with age.  Having been a very prominent and now wealthy resident, but very down-to-earth, he demands, in a very subtle way, the respect he has earned.  He almost always uses taxi’s as he doesn’t like to book and sit with others in a vehicle, so most of the time I transport Ms E instead.

Ms E likes to ask me if I “still like my job?”, or “am I still going to be driving?”.  I am not entirely sure what her motive is for asking but I reply with “are you still going to use the van?” to which she catches on and snickers. 

Her trips are usually only if the weather is bad or Mr. R is not going anywhere.  They include Fred’s Hairstyling or the bank where she used to work as an administrator.

Wealth needs company and doesn’t always find happiness alone.  Mr R and Ms E went to Florida and only after two weeks returned as he had taken ill.  He remains ill to this day (three months later) at the time of this entry. 

In 2015 Mr R passed away, and Ms E moved to a condo.

[Once together, now apart.  Fortunately Ms E lives with her sister and enjoying a very happy independent life.  I have never seen a couple as unassuming as these two even though without question at a Class above the entire building. ]

Never Letting Go

Ms J started life in England then made it to Canada.  She married twice and into money.  She had a hard life growing up with a strict father who discouraged her, but Ms J has conquered the barriers. She became a teacher after an education in England.  She held teaching jobs in Canada then retired. 

 

Her story is often told of her meeting her husband and how he could have become an Admiral in the Navy but decided he didn’t want to “drive a desk” and would rather “drive a ship”.  He was up there in the navy but passed away suddenly.  Ms J retells her story because it is her way of keeping those memories fresh.  The shock she lives is constant. 

 

Ms J received news in 2013 that she had breast cancer and had to have a mastectomy.  A week after being told that news, she broke her ankle. (Add insult to injury eh?) The cast and procedures around the cast became her obsession.. in fact it was as if (as one resident said) "she had found gold."  It was her way of receiving attention that she desperately missed.  The removal of her breast was the same. One would have thought she would go through this highly emotional distress of being something lesser than a woman but instead she broadcasted her situation every chance she got.  In fact in the van she now worries about the seatbelt as it may not fit properly from left to right and she’ll have to sit in the other seat.  Psychologically she never lets go of what she was and what she remembers and whatever happens now allows her to seek attention.  In a way it is sad and seemingly abnormal, but in reality it is her way of living and “never letting go”.

Many residents turn or try to look busy when Ms J walks into the room, but what she needs is love and support.  The competitiveness of this community shows even to someone who attempts to beat each thing anyone has done because she must – her quest was to stand up for herself to her father and she has done so ever since.  Keeping up appearances is more important than they know to this lonely lady.  She is now going through sixteen treatments (one per day) for her cancer and seems weaker after only three.

Ms J survived all those treatments and still resides at the residence in a relatively “confined” capacity on the extended care floor.  Her eyesight is going because of diabetes and servers have to steer her away from the dessert rack.  She cannot leave the building without a care worker.

As often as she is shunned by the people of the building she is never ignored by the chauffeur even though I can do little to relieve her of each situational issue.

Why the Treatment?

Mr. T grew up in the south end and was living in a townhouse with his wife in the north-end.  His dear wife passed away suddenly and after heart issues he decided to live at the residence.  Mr. T traveled across Canada in an RV with his wife several times and he recalls all of his vehicles and his hunting and fishing trips on his regular daily drive to Point Pleasant Park for his hour and a half walk.

One morning he dropped down as usual and the concierge was working to rule and could not promise him a ride at the time he wanted and offered him an alternate time.  He was taken aback as he “always got a ride when Paul was free.” (my fault – I usually tried to accommodate).  It was at the same time I walked in and he saw that I was possibly free and he asked me directly if he could get a ride to P.P. Park to which I replied that I had to check the schedule to make sure.  All was fine and I nodded to the concierge that it was “all good”.

Mr T got into the van.. no help needed for this able man, and while on the way down Tower Road to the upper entry of Point Pleasant Park, he asked me if “that girl at the desk was full-time?”  I said “Yes”.  He asked if she "was looking for another job?".  I said that I wasn’t too sure, but she had commented about a promotion.  He remarked that he could see himself “coming to blows with her” to which I laughed questionably.

As an independent resident at the residence he figured the van was at his beck and call, however he soon learned he had better book ahead.  He also was not used to having to ask for a ride and being treated like that.  His independence was his concern and now he had to adjust. Mr T uses the van strictly for grocery trips or blood tests now.  He has fallen a couple of times for no reason and I believe this scared him.  He had failed a lot now in 2015 and showed his advanced age even more. 

 

He fell again and was now in need of a wheelchair for walks and this took away his enthusiasm.  After a couple months with a care giver his family moved him to Dartmouth closer to his family and cheaper accommodations.

Sometimes we need to remember that all that glitters is not gold and this diamond in the rough found out the hard way at a residence far above his "class" status.  Sad commentary in a way but I have a feeling he is having a ball on the other side of the harbour.

Outliving the Kids

Ms C is the most amazing lady you could ever meet.  She was a vibrant and loyal wife and mother and she talks of family a lot with one thing that stops her – she is 96 and has lost 3 of her 4 children to cancer or related illness. 

She feels guilty and during a drive she is so grateful and ashamed that she is putting me out.  When I ask her how she is making out, she is always “okay, I guess” .. it appears as if she doesn’t want to feel good as it may take from the misery she feels losing her kids over a twenty month period. 

I attended the latest funeral of her daughter, and felt so moved that I donated my time that day so I could give her respect.  I took three ladies to the same funeral in the bus and they were moved to tears when they learned the drive was “my gift”. 

Ms C had a couple of falls and at now 98 she has lost her confidence somewhat and uses the van more often to avoid another fall.

Made It!!!

Mr. and Mrs. P are happy people who found it hard to adjust and tried to hang on to as much of normality as possible. 

One morning, Mr P needed a lift to the QE2 (Robie) and after previous attempts, days before, to park his own vehicle or getting caught in a lineup of fifty people decided to hop into the van to get to an early morning x-ray. 

The concierge of the previous day booked the van for him along with two others which was quite normal several mornings each week. I planned my route and off we went.  The trouble that morning was that the first lady to be dropped off had confused her appointment location and we were going in the opposite direction and she piped up so I would turn back to get her to the right one.  I conceded much to an obvious anxious Mr. P who had ten minutes to get to his appointment.

Although I knew we had plenty of time he was not so sure and kept asking if we would make it.  I dropped the second person off and as we were making our way to his location I assured him we were on time, and indeed we drove in one minute before he was to be there.  You could see the relief in his eyes and with a sigh he expressed how impressed he was with that route planning and he sped off.

You see, the problem was, Mr. P had an x-ray and had a huge volume of liquid stirring in his system with every motion of the van and he thought he would have soiled the van.  I felt for him as he quickly made his way to the desk at the QE2.

But, he made it!!!  He has used the van many times to get to QE2 and the banks ever since and is always very grateful.  People who used to be independent must find it very hard to depend.

[It is interesting at times trying to ensure everyone gets to an appointment on time and over the last three years I have learned to find the best route possible to avoid stressing anyone out (including myself).]

“My wife; my wife”

Late in 2015 a new lady, Mrs J moved into the residence.  She was not alone; in fact her sister moved in with her.  After settling in and getting used to the amenities available to her including the chauffeur service, she decided to take a ride to visit her husband on the Vets Memorial Hospital.  He had been living there for over three years and is in a very advanced stage of dementia. 

 

After several trips and getting to know each other, one day I asked her how Mr J was.  She was very gracious and replied that he was not all that well but “he knew she was there”. 

 

She commented that one way he knows her is of course her voice which he has heard for over sixty-six years of marriage.  Another way was her perfume, always familiar to him, and most touchingly he would hold her hand and feel for the wedding rings on her left hand and that always confirmed it truly was his dear wife.

 

It is that single recognition that sparks a glint in her eye every time she relates it to me.   Mr J is 93 years old at the time of this entry and Mrs J visits him daily.  His son visited him one day and he uttered in such a way as to request it, “my wife; my wife”.  He did not know his son but asked for her through him. 

 

It is this kind of thing that helps me realize just how important a ride is to so many lonely people living at the retirement residence.

Just In Case

Mrs C is a straight walking, classy lady whom you would never think was as up in age as she is.  She has been with us for almost 3 years now and came down to the desk one evening just recently (and after we lost a fine resident) wanting to leave a couple of additional phone numbers in case something happens or she passes away.  "Her Grandson, can be reached in Dartmouth. Her son-in-law, can be reached (but is in Florida for the winter.)"   Our desk staff maintains such records for residents and family.

 

It is sad when one lives with fear of both living and possibly dying alone! 

 

This lady is ninety-eight years of age.  She has lost three of her four children and often comments that (or questions why) she is outliving her family.  We have to assure her that there are many older than she is and have no family at all.  She is grateful for the one remaining son but still grieves daily. 

 

God love her.

Determined Disability

Ms J suffered a stroke and has lost the use of left arm and leg (the whole side actually).  She can stand on both legs but requires a special cane and lots of support when entering or exiting the van or bus.  Mr J is a patient down-to-earth gentleman who truly loves his wife as he patiently helps her around and is always seen with her.

Physiotherapy was a weekly requirement for Ms J and she went alone using the chauffeur service.  She made her way to the van slowly but always with a smile and appreciation for the drive around the corner.  I have equipped the van with a special tool that sits in the open hook on the door frame at the seat level.  Ms J used this leverage tool to help her support herself as she got in and out , while I lifted her lifeless leg into the van. 

Her determination every time she walks to lunch, dinner or out to her car or my van and to eventually stand and walk on that leg truly inspires me.  In 2015 she fell 4 times in two days, startling herself every time.  Her memory is playing tricks on her now and she has appointments made that do not exist.  She now goes everywhere with a care worker to help her.  But oh how she loves to go.

 

Lately the doctors have told her that she is basically wasting her time with 'physio'.  She was naturally demoralized but has accepted this and stays inside in her "grounded" state.

 

Mr J is showing his age and when anyone sees this fine couple making their way they are treated with great respect and obvious admiration.

 

May God bless Ms J as she copes with her disability with a strong determination and Mr J for his strong love for his precious wife.

 

We all could learn about relationships when faced with such adversity.

 

 

"Gotcha!"

Ms P is a great example of everyone’s grandmother.  She offers advice and unconditional respect and support.  She appreciates life and at her advanced age is often heard saying “aging ain’t for sissies’”. 

Originally from Sydney CB, Ms P grew up in a large family and had to endure the hardships of poverty as the family grew. 

While on the way to an appointment we were commenting on the Public Gardens and how nice they were.  We talked about how there must have been thousands of weddings and prom pictures taken there.  She told me how, when she was a little girl, her mother brought her to the gardens and they always loved playing near the little bridge.  We both knew there were wedding pictures by the hundreds on that very bridge.

I asked her if she had her wedding pictures taken there – she said “nah.. that was a long time ago on the Island.”  I asked her if she had her prom picture taken there.  She again said no but added that she "never got to go to the prom."  Of course this made me ask her why.

She related to me that she never made the prom because the teacher had failed her English exam so she didn’t pass grade twelve until after summer school so prom was out.  She also said that her teacher had been on a trip to Europe and he was more interested in telling his stories about his trip then helping with English.  That infuriates her to this day.

She did, however, graduate and achieved a Bachelor of Arts degree from Mount Allison University.  She then said with a grunt “and you’ll never guess who I saw there on the faculty?”.. of course I asked “who?” She was quick to reply “it was that crazy teacher that had failed me back in grade twelve.”  She laughed and said: “I wanted to look him in the face and say ‘gotcha!’ but couldn’t”.

Ms P is always so grateful for a ride and although she is losing her sight she takes a City Tour every now and again “just to get out.”

[It is people like this that make my job so interesting.  One can be feeling down or feel unaccomplished and when you hear a story that was hurtful or discouraging from such wonderful people as Ms P you realize just how human everyone really is and how lucky you really are – especially to have met them]

Marital ‘Status’

Mr. P sits in a wheelchair having suffered a debilitating stroke & Mrs. P is with him for every meal every day.  Mrs. P reserves tables for particular people that she and Mr. P prefer to eat with.  The status of the people help others see what she has accomplished in life – proper friends, proper conversation and proper recognition. 

 

As the former business owners of a successful company on Spring Garden Road Mr. and Mrs. P truly have accomplished a lot.   I was the first one Mr. P met from the residence as I had the great opportunity to transfer him from a hospital.  I can call him by his first name every time I see him.  He is a gentleman, and soft spoken.  When Mrs. P needs a trip for blood work at the very start of my shift, I get the van!  When Mr. P needs a trip to the doctor the bus is prepared.  When Mrs. P wants to go to the gardens for a one way walk back, I see that it happens. 

 

Status is what they are all about but status is what they deserve and I like giving it back as I help them both get around.

Misses Cars - Loves Dogs - Never on Meds

Ms C came to us reluctantly but for reasons necessary for her health and welfare.  At first she was really shy and felt undeserving of a chauffeured ride.  She is always surprised that she can call on me to take her anywhere she wants and she always feels as if she is putting me out. 

 

On one occasion however as we drove to her appointment she noticed dogs playing on a school yard along Jubilee Road.  She immediately sighed and commented on how she missed her car but then after a thoughtful pause.... how she really missed her dog. 

 

It shows me how things like money or location are nothing compared to memories.

 
On another occasion, Ms C was so glad to be transported to one of many hairstylists I visit each week.  As we left the building she made a profound comment. “I would walk but it’s kind of cold, and you know I will probably walk back – good exercise – and at 83 I am not on any medication – it makes me feel great.”  

When you look at this lady you would never know she was in her eighties and when you see her smile you know she is a healthy lady in her autumn years.  She did walk back, by-the-way.  It was a 5 kilometer walk.

[I should mention here that when I am in a one-on-one situation in the van there is a level of comfort and trust and this gets greater with each trip as each resident reveals something more about him or herself.]

Clichés and Kindness

Mr R, one of my first driving companions back in 2013, was told he couldn’t drive anymore, not because he couldn’t drive physically, but because he was forgetting where places were and could possibly get lost.  So, I was asked to take him to an appointment. 

 

I mentioned how cold it was, to which he responded “yes, many are cold, but few are frozen” – a great play on that wonderful piece of scripture.  As we were driving out of the driveway, he commented in his usual quick witty way that his family felt he was getting 'feeble' but he felt he was more in a CRAFT state – that is he “Couldn’t remember a f’n thing”.  We both laughed.  Whenever he gets out of the van he always says that he “can get to the curb from here”.

Mr R does not use my service often now that his family is nearby but he never fails to ask me "if he could remember what he needed at the Superstore would I take him" to which I always say I could but he better think about it.  He never returns of course.

 

What is amazing about this gentleman is his kindness and superb manners for his advanced age (91).  He had many years in the medical field and when I asked about issues around my own son's health he was extremely helpful and obviously well versed in dealing with the issue.  Thanks Mr R.

 

As he would say, "as I said once to a girlfriend, 'it has been a business doing pleasure with you'".

[I have learned through the study of dementia that many intelligent people diagnosed with the symptoms cover it up very well with clichés or repeated jokes – a normal response to a forgetful disease.. there are many expressions repeated over and over by Mr R, but always enjoyed by this chauffeur] 

Watered Heart

Ms G – this lady was at the healthy age of 95 at the time of this note but was as keen as anyone I’ve known in their fifties.  She had an appointment with her doctor and she too related how important relationships with family are to her.  On this occasion though, her daughter was out of town and she required my service to get her to the doctor for the outcome of x-rays previously taken that week. 

 

When she returned she was ok but revealed to me that she had liquid around her heart and they were watching her. She said she could have walked such a short distance (feeling guilty that is was such a short trip).  Even this did not dampen her spirit as she bid me a happy day and figured she’d go have a stiff drink to celebrate another day.

One nasty winter day in Jan 2015 I took Ms G to Fenwick Street.  The street was blocked just before the entrance to her clinic backing traffic up, so I was forced to back up the full length of the street to go around and come in the other way. 

 

She never forgets that reverse trip and talks about her amazement at how I was able to do that.  Our trips have been very comfortable ever since :)

Something as simple as reversing a street is being watched, with interest, as residents watch the chauffeur get them to and from their appointments safely.

Her heart may have water around it but it is still pretty big.

Three Years Today! Jan 21 - 2016

Well today marks exactly 3 years employed by the seniors residence as the Singing Chauffeur.  The residence actually opened for residency on February 7th of 2013.

A cake was made for the staff including the twenty 'originals' remaining from about fifty hired to start the building systems and procedures back on this date in 2013.  We had two solid weeks of orientation back then.  The new hired staff now gets a day and a half.  We didn't have many residents back then but we learned their names fast as the place started to take more in.  Now there are over 170 people and with the exception of maybe the latest twenty newcomers, we know them all.  The newer staff watch in disbelief as we communicate with those we know as friends in a comfortable and respectful way on a first name basis.  The van used to move two or three times a day (and not far).  Now I switch from van to bus and back every half hour from 8-4 Monday to Friday with an average of 70 kilometres daily just on the peninsula of Halifax.

I would like to say "thank you"  for the experience I have gained in a seniors' environment while doing what I love - driving.  The extra alertness required helping seniors has taught me to be a very careful and an alert driver, not to mention patient.  Taking precious cargo like an 85-103 year old has a lot of responsibility attached to it.  I am watched very carefully as I drive the streets.  It is gratifying to receive comments on my patience, capability, and skill at driving.  Every corner has to be smooth, every street navigated gently, and every start and stop, without a jerk or squeal.  Road rage is not possible (I have almost bitten my tongue off and have clenched my fist many times to not lay on the horn).   After all the van is well marked and well-known in the city.  It would be hard to not be seen next time.

It is not just a 'hop in and let's go' kind of chauffeuring either.  There are steps to be taken to get a senior comfortable in the van or bus; there are the steps and sidewalks, the ramps and wheelchair concerns, the accessibility issues around entry ways and medical facilities.   Many seniors have a walker, are in a wheelchair, or have a disability of some sort.  That all requires extra time and patience - both for them and me.  Getting them door to door becomes habit and the route makes sure their door is at the destination door.  No crossing any streets on my watch.

I really have loved dealing and gaining the trust and respect of the seniors I transport.  It is a pleasure to serve them as I can.  My Dad always said I had a "ministry" with my job and in many ways the van is a place where these fine ladies and gentlemen can tell their life story without judgement and with complete privacy. "What's said in the van - stays in the van".  Giving back to those who have given so much to the generations after them is the very least we all can do.

Now onward into year number four.

Stow-Away

Shopping trips are a highlight for many mobile residents and are frequently filled to the brim making it necessary to use the bus (eight seats and one wheelchair bay).  Tuesdays and Thursdays are devoted to these trips, with Shopping Centres on Tuesdays and Grocery Stores on Thursdays.

Today was no exception and the destination was Wal-Mart or Winners.   I loaded all passengers in and asked the question “Wal-Mart? Winners?” to each passenger as they boarded. Believe it or not Wal-Mart wins every time.  Every one was aboard with  the exception of the final passenger, a 100 year old lady, and when asked the question, whispered, with a wink,  “neither – I’m just tagging along for the ride – it can be our little secret.”

[And it was]  I drove out to Wal-Mart, helped everyone off the bus and got the wheelchair passenger out, and got back on to see this little lady sitting so happily in the seat. The others would figure she was on her way to Winners right? She said,  “Now just take your time driving back.  Since I can’t walk I need to make my absence look like I was exercising as usual” and giggled.  As we drove through the city streets, many probably drastically changed over her 100 years of living in this fine city, I would glance back in my mirror and see a watered eye as she watched house and garden go by, snow bank and white yards, and just take it all in.   

When we got back she commented on “how wonderful that excursion was” and thanked me profusely.  She said she felt “liberated” again and “the four walls won’t seem so closed in now for awhile.”

I said it was my sincere pleasure to have her as company.

I thought afterwards and before I sat and wrote this, how sad it is that one can live so long, and still feel trapped by an environment, and still want to get out, move, walk, take a ride, anything.  This very same lady once answered a question I asked about how one makes it one hundred years by telling me, after a thoughtful pause – “attitude!”   She is so right!

[Just as a little backup info for you – this lady has had a couple of falls lately and after being so active has lost her confidence to venture out alone or at all depending on the weather and sidewalk conditions – this set-back was so very obvious when she was my “stow-away” today.  Her attitude will keep her going regardless I figure]

There May Not Be Enough Time

Mr F has been with us for almost two and a half years.  During that time he and his wife have enjoyed the comforts the residence has to offer including “News & Views” discussions, Art Shows, Museums, Reading Clubs and anything that represents education or information.  They did enjoy a couple of City Tours but they decided that a weekly trip around the city, which they had already heard about and researched, would not be stimulating enough.

In any case, Mr. F has had breathing issues and a recent bout of pneumonia did not help him.  In fact he has declined considerably over the last six months.  He used to walk daily around the block, and even had me take him to Point Pleasant Park in the south end where he first would walk the park then back to the residence [a significant walk].

Early in 2016 he booked a ride to Gladstone Medical where he was going to get his hearing aid replaced (lost in the laundry).  As always, I asked him how he was making out lately.  His comments about his health did not surprise me as he related that his lung had not improved and he feared the worse of course.  He added that he is going to take part in a Robbie Burns function and as a Scot he felt a kilt would be in order but realized his shape had changed somewhat since he last wore it and “maybe it wasn’t worth altering as he may not last long enough to justify the alterations.”  On the way back he was pleased with the result of a ‘loaner’ hearing aid and said they were ordering a new one using his former health plan in Ontario.  He felt that “since he probably does not have long it would not make any difference about the cost anyway so why not.”

This attitude and I suppose coming to grips with your final days must weight heavy on the people at the residence regardless of finances or education..

[I should add here that two years seems to be the length of time a person has after they move into the residence if suffering from physical issues at the start]

Don’t Be Afraid

Ms W moved into the residence in December 2013.  As a new resident from another similar retirement residence she did her comparisons and seems to like the change.  She needed a lift to the shopping centre to return something received over Christmas and since it was not a busy day she was scheduled to go out at 2:30, just after the City Tour.

She “swung” (as she put it) into the seat of the van and we were off.  Her discussion was about how the season had changed, how the world had changed, how people have changed.  I got her to the door and decided it would be easier to wait for her than to go back to the residence and sat and watched busy Boxing Day shoppers converge on the centre.  About thirty minutes later she arrived back and we slipped through town to get back “home”.  Her conversation started about a lady she had met and recognized at the shopping center and she said at first she didn’t recognize her then everything clicked and it was “as if they had never lost touch”.  She was 95 and when asked by Ms W about her husband she quickly replied “which one?”.  She laughed as she said “oops”.  The lady had continued with “oh he has been dead for years”.  So Ms W asked “ok, the second one?”.  “Nope”, he is dead too. “Third?  He was sick and about to die.  So she was actually looking for number four now.  Well this struck Ms W funny and she started laughing.  When we got back the General Manager was there and commented on how good I was and Ms Wallace said that if nobody was around “I’d give him a great big hug”… [then she gave me a great big hug anyways.]  She looked at me with a great big smile.. “now be careful, I may not be looking for #4 but I might chase after you.”  Our inside joke caught everyone off guard at the concierge desk and especially with the GM. 

 

Good advice! “Don’t be afraid.”

A Slow Spin

Early in the life of the residence it was easy to get to know residents as they moved in (usually 1 or 2 a week at the most).  When you saw these people you got to know them better every time and names became easier with each meeting.  This was no exception with a lady who had moved to the 2^nd floor (Enhanced Care).. I’ll call her Ell.  She was younger than anyone there at the time but her disease was eating away at her body – Parkinson’s mixed with Dimentia!  She was actually given only months to live and her quality of life was given her by her brother who never failed to visit her every single day.

She arrived in the late winter of the first year of the residence (2013) and was able to walk and take part in many activities as long as she had a care-worker with her.  Her condition was bad and as the months rolled along into spring, summer and fall she failed quickly.  But before she got too bad I remember one time when she was walking through the lobby and as the music was playing (and she loved to dance) she asked me with her weak voice to hold her hands and dance.  It was a slow back and forth then she wanted to “spin” and as I held her weak hand she jerkingly and very slowly spun under my arm to complete the dance move.  During the entire time she was all smiles and you could tell she would have loved to let ‘er rip in a fast dance but her body was never going to react like that again.  She attended the extended Peggy’s Cove tour and enjoyed the fresh air.  She often walked outside for her exercise with her care worker, but eventually by late 2013 we never saw her downstairs as much and if we did she was bending over more and moving even slower – her words unable to make it from her mind to her mouth. 

Early in 2014 Ell passed away.  Her brother had stopped by to see her as usual, and then left.  Thirty minutes later he arrived back after receiving a message. Family arrived and the process of mourning and caring for her began.  It was a sad day!  She will be missed without a doubt but is doing that wonderful dance ‘spin’ with gusto now.  Let ‘er rip Ell!!

Remembering Squared

As you know I drive almost 100 kilometers a day transporting the residence seniors  to and from appointments or shopping/leisure trips.  Every day brings different observations and feelings.  Every person that sits in the van or the bus reveals something about himself or herself in a very profound way.

Today (past tense) was no different with one exception that stood out and really brought things to a new perspective for me. 

Mr R’s son booked the bus earlier this week for today at 11:00 to take his Dad out.  I made myself and the bus available and we made our way.  After dropping Ms T off downtown we proceeded to the Fairview Lawn cemetery and entered from Windsor Street.  Mr R Jr directed me around the cemetery to the back section so the side of the bus where Mr R Sr could look out of was facing the stone of his beloved wife.

I walked up to the stone to point it out to him and his son came with me.  We talked about the family loss (2002) and the son obviously appreciated the time to remember his mom.  We both looked towards the bus and there looking with tears in his eyes and his head down was Mr R Sr remembering his wife.

Mr R Jr is a very serious business-like man when we are on medical visits and the like, but today he was a softer appreciative gentleman who truly was thankful for the opportunity to let his Dad visit his Mom on the anniversary of her death.  (Mr R Sr passed away not long after this entry)

May God Bless them!!!!  He sure blessed me today!

“Oh My Dear Friend”

Dr. M is an educated educator of English appreciation.  She is very well spoken and plans well ahead even at her advanced age.  My first experience and in fact one of my first rides was to take Dr. M to Bayer’s Lake to pick up a new LCD TV for her room.  Her sister was with her and is a very direct Torontonian.  I liked them both immediately and was more than willing to help them out. 

Getting Dr. M into the van has with it a set of steps that must be followed precisely to Dr. M’s satisfaction.

Firstly, I must walk beside her to the van placing the walker to the left of the front door (her preferred seat by-the-way).  Next, I must place her bag (which contains everything from soup to nuts and of course soft candy) between the seats.  I then must place the stool to the right of her so she can turn and place one foot (as she is very short) on the stool to boost her to the seat into which she plops and then exclaims with a giggle every-time while holding both my hands.. “Oh my dear friend, I made it”.  She then spins into her place lifting her coat so she can get comfortable.  I am then to buckle her in and close the door gently.  I then place her walker and the stool in the back of the van and settle in to take her to her location.  Of course if there are others to come they have waited patiently while I perform the ‘entry procedure’, and then are helped into the remaining seats.

Naturally, upon arrival, the steps must be performed in the opposite direction (maybe with the exception of the stool).  While returning she comments on how wonderful it is to get out and go for a drive with me (her wonderful friend) and that she will always remember my gracious welcome to her when she arrived at the residence.  I was her “first impression” and she reminds me often how it helped her adapt to her new retirement residence.  She always hands me a soft candy and she has one of her own – our treat for the ride.

The final step is to walk with her to the front doors, press my own key to admit her through to the lobby and wish her a “great day”.

She replies “Thank you, my dear friend”.

In 2015 she fell and must use a wheelchair and has a care giver, and now uses our wheelchair bus to get around.  Not as many steps but just as appreciated.

Funerals and Banks

Mr. E was a professor at SMU and Dal for many years and as a result knows many people.  He is a very educated man with quick wit and a devious smile.  There are many occasions when he gets a ride to the bank but since he knows so many people who are aging as he is he also attends many funerals.  If he sees me standing for a second either waiting for a resident or taking care of door duties he asks me if I am looking for more business – an obvious hint for a ride. 

 

Lately I refer to him as Pastor E to which he giggles.  In June of 2015 I lost my Dad to cancer.  I received many kind and thoughtful notes from residents at the residence.  Mr E wrote a note that I still carry in my suit coat pocket (I can show you if we ever meet).  It expresses kind, sympathetic and comforting (ensuring) words that helped me cope (and still do) with that grief.  It also helps me appreciate Mr E‘s wisdom and attitude on life’s path.

 

One can't help but appreciate what you can learn from experience.  I have come to truly appreciate Mr E for his "friendship".  It is very hard to refuse that man a ride!

Seniors Tours

New Bus - that's it over there >>>>

[Just before the spring thaw of 2013, we received a new custom made black limo bus with wheel-chair ramp and audio visual systems. The plush soft black leather seats with a big letter monogrammed on the seats and limo style design lighting and above seat controls makes this vehicle the pride of all of the fleet. It holds 9 people and 2 wheel-chairs comfortably and is used often to transport those in wheelchairs or for groups greater than three to locations around the city.]

Peggy’s Cove Tour - The First Outing

The new bus allows us to load up some 2^nd and 3^rd floor residents for tours organized by the Harmony and Wellness Team. These people have no time outside of the building unless family takes them so this is the highlight of their week. I have acquired quite a following as a result. In fact even those in independent living suites have joined the group.

A special Saturday trip to Peggy’s Cove was planned and with a great deal of excitement we loaded the bus for the trip. The Harmony staff leader brought along tea and cookies to munch on when we arrived at the Cove. I had done many Peggy’s Cove tours with Ambassatours but this tour was so very special as I was dealing with special passengers on limited time. I gave some commentary around the loop and we arrived back 2 hours later.

[At the Residence there was a “Wow” program to recognize service above the standards. I received one for this trip. I did it for no wage!]

On a weekly basis, that being every Friday at 1:30, I give a City Tour.  It lasts for an hour, and I always receive the same line, "Are we back already?" in a tone of disappointment.  We go around the city zig-zagging up and down streets, around the Citadel, along the waterfront especially when a cruise ship is in and through the south end of the city.  There is always a trip unless the streets are dangerous.  I received the name "Singing Chauffeur"  from these trips as I always try to add a quick song near the end of the tour. Many times you can hear the passengers singing along with a smile in their voices. It is a highlight of my week as I know it is for these residents.

We have had extended trips to restaurants and even made it to Masstown Market one Friday.  Everyone has so much fun.  My Dad called my job "a ministry" - and in a way I suppose it is as I give back without expecting anything in return.

Traffic Control

Ms R is from a prominent family in the city and moved in due to heart problems but can talk a blue streak with a quick sense of humor. She remembers her husband often and relates stories too numerous at times to remember. One does come to the forefront though. She was the designated driver when taking her aged husband for a drive and coming back through the Armdale Rotary was speeding along and eventually stopped by the police officer nearby. As the officer walked to her window and peered inside, and knowing immediately who he had stopped, asked the customary question “do you know why I stopped you?”.. but before Ms R could reply Mr R said quickly “Give it to her officer”. Needless to say she never got a ticket, but she laughs about that day every time we go though an intersection. I now say our route should be clear with Ms R tagging along. She laughs enthusiastically every time. Ms R gets 3 bottles of rye every week. She loves “her drink” as she says her husband would have said.

[Ms R. has a special way to get into the van and if one of the steps is left out she is quick to remind me) – I seldom forget, to avoid the speech ]

Sleep Apnea

Ms M was a lady who obviously had worked tirelessly in a government job and was highly organized, but in her advanced years and at the start of her fight with dementia was forgetting things. However she was dealing with sleep apnea and was off to pick up a new machine required to monitor the problem. ($5000 item). I dropped her off and thirty minutes later she called to return and on the way back she related this fascinating story: 

Not long after the loss of her husband she went on a vacation with a friend. She had no idea that she snored so while sleeping and snoring in a room with this other lady she was obviously found out and when she jumped out of a deep sleep because of the apnea she opened her eyes to see her room-mate holding a pillow just above her face to which she commented calmly “and what are you doing?”. This naturally startled the lady who obviously had other ideas on how to stop her snoring. Ms M never had any problem with that lady after that. 

[true or fabricated I am sure it is not out of the question]

Triage Trifecta

As you can imagine in a facility that has an average age of 85 there tends to be a few accidents in the run of a year.  As we rolled out of 2015 just before the Holiday the day started as usual – staff arrived, systems were checked, the van was prepared for the day, the bus was cleared of snow, and the dining room staff arrived to start breakfast - and so on. 

Meanwhile, the nurse was summoned to the 2^nd or was it the 3^rd floor to attend to normal rounds.  During those rounds she heard a commotion in a room down the corridor.  There on the floor of her suite lay a woman in severe pain from what was determined to be a broken hip. Paramedics were called and off to the hospital she was whisked. (Number 1)

The day moved along and at about mid-day again the nurse was called to a floor above – this time a lady was finding it hard to breathe so paramedics were called and off she was whisked to the hospital to make sure it was not a heart problem. [This sort of thing is quite common at the residence]. (Number 2)

After the weather had cleared and more people were mulling around on the main level at the desk, one lady (paralyzed on the left side by-the-way) arrived from upstairs and was making her way along from the elevators to the desk, and another (very dainty to say the least) was following her husband in from a pleasant walk outside.  They knew each other well and as the lady going out leaned to hug the lady coming in they both lost their balance and crashed to the floor.  The scream brought the nurse running and after a very quick check of both it was determined that the lady leaving was fine, but the dainty lady who had just finished a safe walk on wet, snowy and icy sidewalks had broken her hip.  Paramedics arrived after the quick 911 call and she too was whisked to the ER, husband tagging along. (Number 3)

My Dad always said “things happen in threes”.  He would have been so right on this day.  The nurse showed her true professional colors that day and when we chatted later she could only exclaim “what a day!!”

I learned a valuable lesson too: in this fast paced unpredictable life of ours – take it easy and live every day to its fullest because things can change so fast.  Happy New Year!!